Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize