she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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