he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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