did you get engaged???
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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