Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
