Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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