omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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