you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
