I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
