I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
