we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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