During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.