Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.

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  (214): Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again. http://tfl.nu/sc3c
  Replies (5) Good night (1544) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award

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  (914): We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream. (1-914): Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award http://tfl.nu/nl5u
  Replies (7) Good night (4441) Bad night (478)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate

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  (407): I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate http://tfl.nu/yf54
  Replies (64) Good night (4829) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water

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  (508): you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water http://tfl.nu/opqy
  Replies (15) Good night (7649) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  tequila makes her clothes fall off

  (512): View more from Texas

  wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time

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  (636): tequila makes her clothes fall off (512): wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time http://tfl.nu/mbhl
  Replies (28) Good night (1957) Bad night (8138)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it

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  (910): after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it http://tfl.nu/b99n
  Replies (48) Good night (2863) Bad night (6130)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?

  (813): View more from Florida

  Nah, just masturbating louder

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  (239): Is it weird being in the house without any roommates? (813): Nah, just masturbating louder http://tfl.nu/cjwy
  Replies (7) Good night (5450) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.

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  (229): Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night. http://tfl.nu/4bxb
  Replies (10) Good night (4884) Bad night (1715)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.

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  (406): Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care. http://tfl.nu/dahm
  Replies (8) Good night (889) Bad night (3006)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped

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  (781): she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped http://tfl.nu/pl2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1845) Bad night (1036)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom

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  (715): He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/gly6
  Replies (3) Good night (1988) Bad night (1211)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.

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  (419): They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that. http://tfl.nu/gjrr
  Replies (11) Good night (4907) Bad night (775)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?

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  (615): Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night? http://tfl.nu/6kbl
  Replies (3) Good night (1407) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick

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  (516): I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick http://tfl.nu/9fbv
  Replies (2) Good night (680) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter

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  (774): who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly (413): seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter http://tfl.nu/tftx
  Replies (0) Good night (381) Bad night (267)

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