Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
