why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
