pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dick very happy bro
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
