I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
