Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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