so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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