Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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