and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
