Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
