I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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