We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
