Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This is my gift to your gina
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
