I just saw a hot homeless man
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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