Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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