One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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