the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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