some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
