Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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