just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize