Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
