I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize