If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
