friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
