have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
