The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
