I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
