Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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