Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
