Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
