Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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