k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
