Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
