Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
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Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
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just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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