Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
