"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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