I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Less talking, more tequila
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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