It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
