well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
