Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
