Will you blow on my dice?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
