he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
