so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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