Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
