I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
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The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
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Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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