And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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