The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize